In Memory.

My Grandfather's Memorial Service was today. I'm sad that I couldn't be there. Funerals have a way of bringing people together. It's a reunion of friends and family that have been brought together in the remembrance of a loved one. Weddings and Funerals are eerily similar...but way different. I prefer weddings, for they are more joyful due to every one's happy spirits. It's hard to be completely joyful at a funeral. When I think of my Grandpa dancing in Heaven I am happy...but the sadness of the loss doesn't go away. It's like a button has been ripped out of a sweater leaving a hole. It's a constant reminder of what used to be there.

All in all everyone is taking his passing okay. He had a stroke soon after Thanksgiving, so we've had some time to prepare for his death. It's still hard to let go.

Peter and I were talking about him the other night. Remembering his last words to us. I don't remember his to me (knowing him, he probably gave me a hug and said "be good, kid"...like usual), but Peter remembers him taking him aside and saying take care of your family. You're doing a great job. I think he was pleased with how our little family was turning out - proud even. His eyes would light up when he would see my (then) baby Simon and he loved it when we would sit near him and chat. He was a very quiet man, but very generous with the few words that he would use.

He stayed busy up until his stroke. I think after the stoke, not being able to get out of bed and do stuff around the farm was harder on him than we'll ever know. Even though he was 77, retired for a few years and slowing down due to his age, he still put in a full garden and took care of the farm. He even canned fruits and veggies for my family (what would I give for a can of peaches or beans...or beets from my Grandpa!!).

I have so many great memories of him as a kid. When I was younger I would visit the farm for a few weeks every Summer. We would go fishing (he would always gut my fish for me, because he knew how squeamish it would make me to see their insides. He also would bait my hook for me as well - there's just something about stabbing a poor squirmy worm on a hook that didn't sit well with me.). He would also let us help with the milking of the goats and would let us grind corn for the animals as well. He never made fun of me for my near death panic attacks of seeing farm mice running around the farm buildings...and never seemed surprised that I grew fond of catching frogs and garter snakes. The thing that stands out the most though, were the tractor rides. Those were the best.

I am EVER so grateful that he was a believer and is in heaven worshiping Jesus right now as I type. I had tears running down my face last Sunday during the worship service as I realized that Grandpa was worshiping Jesus in a much deeper and intimate way than we could ever imagine. He is worshiping Him at His feet and is gazing up into His face. What a beautiful thing that must be. I envy him with a holy passion. Until we meet again in heaven...I love you Grandpa.

December 18, 1983

Project365: January 22-29

January 29 

It’s been a long and painful week. Seven straight days of migraine headaches is a miserable way to live through a week. Thankfully, today was my first day of not being in constant pain. I had an early morning in which I spent at a Titus 2 meeting at church, followed by lunch with Bethany. Starting off the day light and carefree was wonderful. It’s amazing how stress can break your body down. Thanks go out to Beth for hanging out with me and giving me an excuse to get out AND to Peter for giving up his Saturday morning to watch Simon all by himself.*

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January 28
I haven’t had much of an appetite lately. A fruit smoothie was the only thing that sounded good this morning. And boy was it good. Simon also shares a love of fruit smoothies which means I have to share. Note to self: make bigger smoothie next time.

January 27
My son adores peanut butter. Enough said. Oh, wait. I hate peanut butter breath. Okay, now enough said. ;)

January 26  

We spent the morning at the Minnesota Children’s Museum in Saint Paul. It was fun watching my son play and run around with other little kids, not to mention the joy of hanging out with two lovely mommy friends and their kids. This morning brought back fond memories of driving to Indy as a family when I was a kid and going to the Indianapolis Children’s Museum. I hope my son has fun memories too. :)

January 25
I watched my adorable niece, Penelope today. For naptime, she decided that she would rather nap on me than to sleep in the pack n’ play. It’s been awhile since I’ve held a sleeping baby. It was a sweet hour. :)

January 24  

So far, this has been a good month for reading.

January 22 

My Terrible Towel is worn and slightly tattered. I’ve had it for 5 years now, given to me by an old diehard Steeler fan that used to sit in my section back in my serving days. He knew I was a fan and sweetly gifted it to me. They won the Superbowl that year. I now bring it out for important games (like tonight’s) and wave it in honor of the team, the beautiful city, my favorite Pittsburgher (my Dad), and my brother Nate who bleeds yellow. Go Steelers!!

Fill in the Blank Friday

1. My favorite quote is "Worrying does not empty tomorrow of it's troubles. It empties today of its strength"

2. A bad habit I have is I pick off my nailpoilish...I also I mumble and slouch (such poor posture I have!). I'm also a slooow eater and I leave little bits of food on my plate for "later". I'm sure my husband could come up with a lot more.

3. The first time I felt like a "grown up" was when I moved to Minnesota as a married person, and shared an apartment with a man - my husband. Also, holding my baby for the first time. I think I'll *really* feel "grown up" though once we officially own our first house.

4. Weekends are my favorite! Peter is home from work. We stay up late, sleep in and do fun things as a family. Date night usually happens on the weekend too. :)

5. When I was a child I wished my name was Jes. I always liked my name Jessica, but wished people would shorten it to Jes (or Jess). Only one person called me "Jess" while growing up (my Uncle from DE) - I loved it. Once I moved out, everyone called me Jess. Now when people call me Jessica, I think I'm either in trouble, my mom is calling me or the person doesn't know me well enough to call me by Jes. ;)

6. I wish I were a millionaire. Then I would be able to visit friends and family, travel, give to charity/missions and live without worrying about going over budget. I'm not a lover of money, I'm just a hater of not having "enough" money.

7. A secret I have is I'm not a very good -OR- confidant driver. Okay, so maybe that's not really a secret to those who really know me. Moving to the Twin Cities and being around MN drivers has frightened me more than I would like to admit. After being in quite a few accidents as a kid/teenager...it's hard to lay those fears aside. I *really* want to get better though this Spring/Summer - maybe take some classes. So yeah, the secret is out.

Project365: January 15-21

1January 21

It’s date night for our friends, which means we get to watch Jude for the evening!! :) Simon couldn’t be happier and neither could Jude. I love hearing their jabber, and laughter as they play together.

January 20

“Something Special from California”. What can I say? I have friends in high places…who love me. lol. Thanks A, for the yummy chocolates!! <3

January 19

The moon was extraordinary tonight. The sky was gorgeous too. A dark indigo, clear of clouds with bright twinkling stars winking out at you. Seeing the beautiful sky almost made one forget it was -7 (windchill) out. Almost.

January 18

I learned the Bobble stitch last week and am practicing it on this cute hat. I’m a newbie when it comes to knitting-in-the-round, so this might get ripped out in the end - but until then, I’m enjoying it, flaws and all.

January 17

After dinner every night is “daddy and me” playtime for Peter and Simon. Rolling the ball around is something that Simon enjoys doing with his daddy. I enjoy watching them as I clean the kitchen, and hearing the giggles that come from my son always brings a smile to my face. :)

January 16

We had Ben and Bethany over for dinner tonight. They’re such a fun couple. We ended the night by playing Settlers and munching on cookies. If I had my way we would have company over every week. Food, conversations with family/friends and games - 3 of my favorite things. :)

January 15

I wore my hair pinned up today. I’m trying out a new look…playing around with it before going in for a my bi-annual cut. I think I like it. I’ll probably wait a couple more weeks before going in, allowing it to grow out a little bit longer (they always seem to take off more than I would like).

Fill in the Blank Friday - Feelings.

1. I feel happy when I do anything that makes me feel alive!  I like to think of myself as a very happy person, and that is because I surround myself with things that make me happy: Jesus, friends, family, my best friend-husband, my son, owls, bright colors, yarn, etc.  There are three things that make me the happiest.  Eating out with friends, having fun with friends (games, silly conversations, watching dumb movies, etc.) and going to amusement parks with friends.  Laughter is a key to happiness and pardon the expression, but I love to laugh!

2. I get silly when I am around certain people...and drink certain drinks. ;)  I love being silly (it makes me sad to think that I'm not as silly as I once was - I guess that's what being an adult and mother has done to me - I shall not make those two things change who I am though - bring on the silliness!).

3. Something that makes me sad is being SO far away from my dear sweet friends and family...who know how to bring the silliness out in me. I would LOVE to hang out with my dearies and just let my hair down and be silly and wild and not care...for just a few hours. 

4. Something that makes me annoyed is not being able to be as spontaneous as I would like. I miss the spur-of-the-moment dates (with my husband or girlfriends) and the freedom to go and do whatever I would like without having to schedule it in.  I'm also annoyed with money...or the lack thereof.  I would love to just hop on a plane and go visit all of my dear ones without having to worry about spending money.  Maybe I'll start playing the lottery...and have even less money than I do now.  Nevermind, bad idea.

5. A time that I've been truly surprised was Five times come to mind.  1) When I found out Peter was interested in dating me.  2)When I found out I was pregnant (we had gotten married between the dating and the pregnancy part - fyi).  4) When I received Viking tickets for my birthday 5) When we lost our house. 

6. I am so thankful for Grace!  When I get all whiny and I complain, He is there to reassure me that He will never leave me nor forsake me, even when I don't treat Him right.  I love that about Him, and I try not to take that promise for granted.  I'm also grateful for friends who stick by me no matter the distance or length in time since we last connected.

7. I feel loved when people want to hang out with me and give me gifts or surprise me with anything (yes, I'm needy and I'm admitting that one of my love languages is gifts - so embarrassing). 

Project365: January 8-14

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January 14

The snow falling from the sky continues. We decided to embrace it tonight and spent 15 minutes suiting up, 20 minutes playing in the deep deep snow and 5 minutes unsuiting - leaving everything in a big wet pile. It was quite fun!

 

January 13 

My husband came home from work this evening with a surprise for me: flowers! I love him. I also love how purple tulips and their bright green leaves and stems remind me of Spring - especially on a snowy day like today.

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January 12

Today, Simon was extra messy. Thankfully, I was able to whip the apartment into shape before it was inspected…and thankfully management gave us a few hours notice (this time) before showing up. Kind of a crazy day.

 

January 11
I sold a mini turtle today (my first sale of the year!) and gave myself a French manicure. It was a good day.
 

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January 10
I love our Small Group and I’m loving the book of Hebrews more than ever! What an amazing God we serve!!

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January 9
Our pastor is back!! After being away for 8 months, today’s sermon was a clear reminder that God has blessed him with the gift of preaching and glorifying our wonderful Creator’s beautiful name.
“The purpose of the Universe is for God’s name to be hallowed”.

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January 8
Peter and I were looking through our catalogs this morning and it hit me that although we are very much alike, we would hands down spend our pretend money on totally different things. And no, Peter’s catalog of choice was not Ulta. ;)

Fill in the Blank Friday - Summer vs Winter

1. Winter is cold. Really cold. I'm not a fan of cold weather...or wet snow for that matter. But I don't mind it so much if I'm in a warm room with a hot cup of coffee looking out on a beautiful snow-covered landscape. It's when I have to be out in it that I start minding the snow and cold. I guess I would enjoy it more if I were into winter activities (ice skating, snowboarding/skiiing, sledding, etc.). But I'm not. It costs too much money for the snowboarding/skiing (as much fun as they are) and it takes too much time and effort to put on all of the layers to have an "enjoyable" and semi-dry time doing any kind of outdoor winter activity. And can I just say that dressing a small child for the cold winter weather takes SO much time and effort!!! So yes, Winter is cold and I'm not a fan.

2. Summer is my favorite time of the year. Unlike Winter, it's warm and dry and doesn't take too much effort to get ready to go outside - just slip on some flipflops and you're all ready to go (totally hands free at that!!). I enjoy sitting out in the sun feeling the hot rays of the sun on me as I flip through a magazine or read a fun novel. There are so many enjoyable Summer activities too - picnics in the park, kite flying, going to the zoo, swimming, bike riding/Rollerbladeing, outdoor baseball games, etc.

3. If it were summer instead of winter right now I'd be out on the deck soaking up some sun reading a book.

4. My favorite thing to do in winter is to go out and grab some pricey hot coffee, cupping it in my hands for warmth.

5. My favorite thing to do in summer is go to an amusement park with a bff or two!!

6. The ideal outfit for a sunny summer day is a cute frilly short skirt, a tank top and flipflops.

7. The ideal outfit for a frigid winter day is Leggings under skinny jeans, a cute shirt under a cardigan, smart wool socks, tall boots, a pea coat, a knitted cap hat and gloves. Layers, it's all about layers.

lazy me.

I feel like doing nothing today. Which is bad, since today is probably the busiest day of the week for me. I have freshly washed laundry that needs to folded and an entire apartment that needs to be cleaned and my small group study that needs to be finished before tonight. So why am I blogging instead of doing all of that? I have no idea. Maybe I'm waiting for the coffee to kick in. Maybe I'm waiting until after lunch. OR, maybe I'm waiting until after Simon goes down for his nap. Maybe, maybe, maybeeeee. sigh. No, I'm blogging because I'm lazy. I'd rather sit on my bum and type away then get the dust rag out. I'd rather stare at my computer screen then fold the once-hot-now-cool laundry. Actually, to be honest, I'd rather slip back under the covers of my comfy bed and just sleep. Sleep until I can't sleep any longer - I wonder what that would feel like? Hmm. But that would be extra lazy of me, and so I'm blogging instead. Maybe eating lunch will give me some much needed energy. I'm thinking my energy level is probably at 8% right now...actually, that was before I did laundry, it's probably down to 2% now. If I could get up to 20-25% I think I could manage to do a little cleaning and folding. ;) Time to heat up some leftovers and put in my headphones. I will conquer this laziness if it's the last thing I do. But first I'm going to blog.

Project365: January 1-7

January 1
Peter gives the best foot-rubs. I’ve always thought my feet to be weird-looking, but my husband loves them and finds them quite attractive. Yeah, he’s a keeper.


January 2
Last game of the season for the Vikings. Sad.


January 3
I haven’t had much of an appetite these last couple of weeks. I forced myself to find something edible to eat today. I went green: broccoli, peas and cabbage; sautéed in olive oil, s&p and a sprinkling of asiago cheese. It was actually pretty good - but we already know cheese makes everything taste better. ;)


January 4
Jude is Simon’s best friend. They always get these huge grins on their faces when they see each other, and they play well together too. Jude is always happy (except when it comes to bedtime) and has the cutest little laugh. He is also one of the best dressed toddlers I know (as seen in this picture). :)


January 5
Today was a lazy day. Peter came home early from work, sick and Simon watched Disney’s Robin Hood for the first time. Watching it took me back to my childhood and it reminded me of my schoolgirl crush on an animated fox. Yeah.


January 6
Sick day. We all woke up feeling not-so-great this morning. Thankfully, we feel better now, but only after drinking plenty of liquids, taking Emergen-C and resting. Here’s hoping for a better day tomorrow! :)


January 7
I feel like I’m officially a Minnesotan now. I took my Sorel winter boots out on their maiden voyage tonight and my feet thanked me - waterproof and warm, what more could a girl ask for in a winter boot? (Gotta love my husband’s sweet discount too). :)