Times of refreshing

Today, I feel bored and restless. If I'm being honest, I've been feeling this way for a while now. I get like this from time to time. It usually happens during the dreary wintery months. But I'm still feeling this way. I could attribute it to the lack of sun or warm weather (it's the end of MAY for Pete's sake!) or the fact that I'm a SAH mom. Or both. It's probably both.  Ever feel bored with your lifestyle? The things you do day in and day out? I'm the type of person that HAS to have something fun and different to look forward to or a deep depression overwelms me. Okay, so maybe that's a little extreme. I don't get depressed...I just get like I am today. Bored...and okay, a little depressed.  The thing that's confusing me is that I DO have something fun to look forward to tomorrow/Saturday. And I've had quite a few fun things happen this past last year - things that don't usually happen. My brother and his wife came for a visit, my baby turned one, my oldest friend, Carissa, came for a visit, we went on a road trip to Indiana surprising my mom for her 50th, my SIL just had a baby and I have two more nieces/nephews to look forward to before the year is out. Our 7th year anniversary is on Monday, various fairs and festivals are upon us, Simon's birthday, hopefully a trip up north, Peter's 30th birthday, my 30th birhtday.... I've had fun things happen AND I have fun things about to happen.

So why do I feel this way? I think the day-to-day living is starting to get to me. The non-stop picking up of toys, washing of dishes/clothes, dusting, cooking, cleaning, changing diapers, giving baths, putting cranky boys to bed, whining, complaining, teething, trying to be productive, saving money.... It's just a constant cycle of...mundane life. I know it's not always going to be like this. I know that if I worked outside of the home, I would still have to deal with all of this PLUS a job. An outside job does sound appealing though sometimes. A job where I can be around other adults, work on projects, finish projects, go on to something else. As a full time mom, I feel like I do the same things day in and day out, trying to please everyone around me and a lot of times I don't feel like I get anything back (don't I sound selfish?!). I try to mix up my day from time to time - watch a guilty-pleasure show while folding laundry, bake something scrumptious and naughty, work on projects for my etsy shoppe...  But even then I run into problems: wasting time, gaining weight and items not selling. lol!

So, what is it that I desire? I've been asking myself that same question. In my Q&A book, I come across questions like this all the time. If you could travel anywhere tomorrow, where would you go? Or If you could visit anyone, who would it be? Or Who would you trade places with for just one day? Some days I have answers to these questions...most days I don't know what the heck I want.

It's times like this I all of a sudden have a thought. When was the last time I sat down during a quiet time of the day (hahaha) and actually opened up my bible? It had been a few days. I opened up my devotional and bible this morning. I came to the throne thirsty. I decided to play catchup. Yesterday's devotional was just what I needed today. The last sentence struck me: Find Me in every situation. Are you the type of person who seeks after God and feels closest to Him when you're going through dark times (when difficulties force you to depend on Him) or when you're going through bright happy times (those who respond and feel closest to Him with with thanksgiving and praise)?  It's comforting to know that He knows the things that make us come to his throne. Because sometimes I have no idea what it's going to take. And most times I don't even notice that I've been wandering. I would love to be the person who seeks after Him no matter what. Something I should strive for.

So that's me in a nutshell. Kinda depressing, kinda hopeful, mostly honest.  I am grateful to God for this life. A life full of little boy drama, giggles, kisses and yes, dirty diapers. I love my boys and my husband of 7 years. I'm praising God today for life, for my life. For the past blessings and the future Grace.
 

...that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord. -Acts 3:20a

{Teething}

It's been a cranky couple of weeks for us. Miles started teething again, and is now sporting two bottom teeth. Poor child. Poor mama. This is his second go around at teething. Although, he doesn't have anything to show for his first, which I'm actually glad about. At 7 weeks (weeks!!!), I spotted 2 white dots on the right side of his gums, I rubbed my finger along his gum thinking the white spots was just leftover milk residue. To my shock - and horror - the spots were sharp. By 8 weeks, there was no denying the fact that they were teeth. Thankfully we had Miles' 8 week dr. appointment and I was able to ask his doctor about them. He said that they were indeed teeth and that we would just have to keep an eye on them. If they continuted to come out through the side (instead of coming through the bottom of the gums like they're supposed to), they might have to be extracted. GAH! I was so horrified and not looking forward to having a baby sporting teeth coming out of the sides of his mouth. Thankfully a couple of weeks later, after incredible pain and discomfort (runny nose, lack of appetite, cranky, restless sleeping, etc.) the white spots started to go away, the teeth decided to go back in. All of that teething pain for nothing. Poor kid. Poor Mama.

2 weeks later, round two of teething. This has been the roughest 4 weeks of my mommy-life. I thought I was going to go crazy. It didn't help that on top of my 2 crazy kids, I watched a bunch of other kids too. I started to wonder if my life would ever get back to normal. I actually started to forget what normal was. Miles was no longer my chill laid-back baby. He wailed, he cried, he fussed, he woke up multiple times a night, he was hardly ever happy.  I remember being super excited when he was happy for a full 5 minutes, being filled with hope that maybe the worst was behind us and that he was getting better, only to be disappointed once the crying started up again. At the beginning of this notsofun adventure, I wasn't sure what was going on. I was relieved to finally see proof that he was indeed teething. It gave me hope that this was just a teething phase, that once they popped through, he would be back to his old smiley self.

Thankfully, he has been much happier, and I have too. It's kind of dumb how circumstances dictate how I feel and how I deal with things. It's also dumb at how rattled I get when the kids are crabby. I'm the adult, I should be able to handle tears and loud crying. But I can't - at least not for extended periods of times. I keep reminding myself that this is what happens when I'm sleep deprived. I'm not 100% myself. I'm low in energy and patience...and love. As much as I want this phase to be over with, I know 6 months from now, I'll look back on my baby's life and wonder where his babyhood went. It goes by so quickly. While I might not love the yawns, tears and frustrations that come with being a mom, I do love the baby that makes me a mom. We'll get through this babyMiles...together. xoxo

Miles sporting his 2 bottom teeth at 16 weeks.