My favorite flower. The peony.

The peony is my favorite flower. They have always held a special place in my heart. For as long as I can remember, they've grown in my childhood backyard. My mom has a plant from the house I was born in, their current house - the house I grew up in - and a plant from my Great-Grandma. As kids, we would watch in awe as the ants crawled over the peony buds, almost willing them to open. It was a chore getting those little suckers off once the flowers were ready to be cut and brought into the house. But it was worth the effort.

My dad has always commented that the flowers smell like old lady perfume. Haha!  I still think of that when I bring the blooms up to my nose for a whiff of Spring. They're such a romantic flower. I wanted them for my bridal bouquet, but they had already stopped blooming by the time June 3rd rolled around. So sad.

Apartment living was dreary for me when it came to flowers. No lilacs, tulips or peonies. When we moved to our current house, I was overwhelmed with gratitude when I noticed a huge supply of lilacs, tulips, hydrangeas (my wedding flowers) and a couple peony bushes. I was not prepared for the beauty of the latter flower though.

Sadly, this year my second peony plant failed to yield any flowers. They were my favorite too. a delicate pink with a HUGE tissue paper-like petal with a bright yellow center. They were so fragile looking. I'm sad they didn't do well this Spring. But seeing how awfully weird this Spring has been, I shouldn't be surprised. I hope they come back next year!!

^Picture taken last year. June 2012

What's your favorite flower? Do you have them growing in your yard...or are they on your wish list? I have a huge wishlist. My poor husband. 

Someday...

Times of refreshing

Today, I feel bored and restless. If I'm being honest, I've been feeling this way for a while now. I get like this from time to time. It usually happens during the dreary wintery months. But I'm still feeling this way. I could attribute it to the lack of sun or warm weather (it's the end of MAY for Pete's sake!) or the fact that I'm a SAH mom. Or both. It's probably both.  Ever feel bored with your lifestyle? The things you do day in and day out? I'm the type of person that HAS to have something fun and different to look forward to or a deep depression overwelms me. Okay, so maybe that's a little extreme. I don't get depressed...I just get like I am today. Bored...and okay, a little depressed.  The thing that's confusing me is that I DO have something fun to look forward to tomorrow/Saturday. And I've had quite a few fun things happen this past last year - things that don't usually happen. My brother and his wife came for a visit, my baby turned one, my oldest friend, Carissa, came for a visit, we went on a road trip to Indiana surprising my mom for her 50th, my SIL just had a baby and I have two more nieces/nephews to look forward to before the year is out. Our 7th year anniversary is on Monday, various fairs and festivals are upon us, Simon's birthday, hopefully a trip up north, Peter's 30th birthday, my 30th birhtday.... I've had fun things happen AND I have fun things about to happen.

So why do I feel this way? I think the day-to-day living is starting to get to me. The non-stop picking up of toys, washing of dishes/clothes, dusting, cooking, cleaning, changing diapers, giving baths, putting cranky boys to bed, whining, complaining, teething, trying to be productive, saving money.... It's just a constant cycle of...mundane life. I know it's not always going to be like this. I know that if I worked outside of the home, I would still have to deal with all of this PLUS a job. An outside job does sound appealing though sometimes. A job where I can be around other adults, work on projects, finish projects, go on to something else. As a full time mom, I feel like I do the same things day in and day out, trying to please everyone around me and a lot of times I don't feel like I get anything back (don't I sound selfish?!). I try to mix up my day from time to time - watch a guilty-pleasure show while folding laundry, bake something scrumptious and naughty, work on projects for my etsy shoppe...  But even then I run into problems: wasting time, gaining weight and items not selling. lol!

So, what is it that I desire? I've been asking myself that same question. In my Q&A book, I come across questions like this all the time. If you could travel anywhere tomorrow, where would you go? Or If you could visit anyone, who would it be? Or Who would you trade places with for just one day? Some days I have answers to these questions...most days I don't know what the heck I want.

It's times like this I all of a sudden have a thought. When was the last time I sat down during a quiet time of the day (hahaha) and actually opened up my bible? It had been a few days. I opened up my devotional and bible this morning. I came to the throne thirsty. I decided to play catchup. Yesterday's devotional was just what I needed today. The last sentence struck me: Find Me in every situation. Are you the type of person who seeks after God and feels closest to Him when you're going through dark times (when difficulties force you to depend on Him) or when you're going through bright happy times (those who respond and feel closest to Him with with thanksgiving and praise)?  It's comforting to know that He knows the things that make us come to his throne. Because sometimes I have no idea what it's going to take. And most times I don't even notice that I've been wandering. I would love to be the person who seeks after Him no matter what. Something I should strive for.

So that's me in a nutshell. Kinda depressing, kinda hopeful, mostly honest.  I am grateful to God for this life. A life full of little boy drama, giggles, kisses and yes, dirty diapers. I love my boys and my husband of 7 years. I'm praising God today for life, for my life. For the past blessings and the future Grace.
 

...that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord. -Acts 3:20a

Hope for a weary Minnesotan.

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? HOPE in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God.

For the first time this year, I have confidence that Spring is almost here. Looking at the calendar, one might say duh, it's been Spring for an entire month already...it's April, dontchaknow. If you had the chance to look out my window or take a stroll around my neighborhood, you would not see green grass or flowers bursting forth from the moist ground, or green leaves sprouting from the once-barren trees. Instead you would see heavy-laden tree branches with snow gently falling from them onto a picturesque snow-covered ground.

It's been over a months since I last posted. It was a post about being grumpy. I hate leaving that as my last post, and I've tried writing several posts to take its place, but they've all come off being grumpy and whiny.  This has been a tough Winter for me. Every snowfall has made me want to cry. Every 10-day forecast has made me want to hybernate and every picture on instagram or facebook of warm places has made me want to take an extended vacation with my little family. It's been a rough and grey 6 weeks. I hate how the weather affects me...and the kids.

This week has been much easier, even if we have received 2 blasts of wintery white stuff in the space of 5 days. The reason it's been so much easier this time around, is because I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. The tunnel being winter-like weather, the light being 60 and 70 degree days by the end of this week. I am a happy person as I sip my coffee and look outside on the beautiful winterwonderland, knowing that the Narnian saying always winter, but never Christmas (or Spring in this case) is not true! The melting snow and the hot sunshine and blue skies...and our 10-day forecast, are all sure signs that spring is around the bend. It might not look like it now, but I have hope. For who hopes for what he sees?

I'll finish this post with a very familiar verse that I've been struggling to follow this season.

Move over Oscar, there's a new grouch in town.

Such a long week and a half this has been. I went from having a mild sore throat to Strep AND a Peritonsillar Abscess on my left tonsil in the space of a week. I couldn't have been more upset with my body. I avoided the ER (thanks to amazing pain meds) and went to a ENT clinic instead. <----- Most awful experience everrrr. But, she must have done something good because the swelling went down and by the end of the day, my throat was greatly improved. So thankful that the abscess didn't fill back up making me go in AGAIN. I don't think I would have handled that well.

Fast forward to a week later: I'm on antibiotics and still trying to kick this infection. My body is still working quite hard at getting this infection taken care of. The swelling is still there and even though I don't have any throat pain, the swelling on my left tonsil is reeking havoc on my jaw. I've had jaw pain before and just like before I'm having to focus on not clenching and putting even more stress on it. The stress of my jaw pain is radiating to my head and neck. Headaches and back pain. So much stress. I hope I never have to deal with this again. If I do...these tonsils are outta here!

On a random note, have I mentioned how much I hate antibiotics? I guess I should clarify that I have a love-hate relationship with them. I love them for the obvious reasons...but I hate them for the side effects. Bleh. I don't know much about antibiotics, but the ones I'm currently on are making me ohsotired and they leave a nasty taste in my mouth that lasts for a few hours. I'm also on a smaller dose, so I'm having to take 2 pills 8 hours a day, which equals 6 pills a day. The second set are the easiest. The  morning and and late-night timeslots are awful because I have to have to eat food at unconvient times of the day. I HATE eating food first thing in the morning. And drinking copious amounts of water doesn't sit well either. But it's either that or throwing up on an empty stomach. Waaaa. I don't like being tired all the time and I don't like being forced to eat. Antibiotics make me cranky.

My friend Johanna gifted this fun postcard to me at Christmastime.

I love everything about it. The structure, the print, the font and design. And the saying. She knows me well. Honestly, when I first got it, I thought of my kids. But lately, the saying has been a good reminder to me that I need to quick whining and complaining. It's hard to do when one is so tired and exhausted, but it's not impossible. My husband has been quite loving towards me even when I'm cranky and glum. He's shown me undivided attention and unconditional love when I'm at my lowest. He's the best. Seeing how wonderful he is almost makes me even more cranky (I don't deserve him). Haha. I'm hoping this dark cloud of gloom will go away soon. I miss the sunshine and flowers.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good  {Romans 8:28}

Pretzel Crusted Brownies...& {five} things I love about Winter.

It's another cold Winter day in Minnesota - it's hard to believe that we were in the 90's just a few {long} months ago. I decided to make a list of all the things I enjoy about Winter.

I've got nothing.

I kid. I actually came up with 5 things. Five!! That's a lot for this winter-hating girl.

1. Tis the season to eat soup. Lots of amazing soup. Soup is a great filler when I'm coming up short on what to make for dinner. Plus, soup is a favorite of my husband.
2. Jeans/leggings. I really do love wearing jeans. I've been sporting denim leggings almost all winter-long, mostly because I don't like getting my hems wet with the ever present snow. And most of my jeans are too long to wear with flats. I'm looking forward to being able to wear my heels again once the ice and snow goes away. Also leggings go really well with my... 
3. Boots! I love boots. I have 9 pairs and I love them all. I even have a few pairs of booties (wedge booties are my newest shoe addiction). 
4. Hot drinks. Sipping on coffee or tea is extra nice when it's chilly outside. 
5. Baking. I bake all year long, but it's especially nice to bake when it's cold outside. The oven heats up the kitchen like nothing else. 

Speaking of baking. I found this amazing recipe on Pinterest a few weeks ago. It intrigued me and so I pinned it. This weekend I had a variety of activities that called for yummy snacks/treats (girls night, guys night, superbowl...), so I tried it out. And I'm so glad I did. I've added it to my newest addiction list.  I may or may not be nibbling on one as I type (isn't nibbling a much better word than inhaling? I think so).

And so, without further ado, here are the recipes (and a couple of videos I shot while making them, thanks to my Vine app - username: Jessica Gulbranson). 

Chairs, Craigslist & Coffee

Decorating my home has really been weighing on my mind this last month or so. I feel like we're so close to tying everything together in a cohesive sort of way...and then I feel like we have such a ways to go. This weekend/yesterday we got that much closer. I found these amazing chairs at goodwill on Saturday.

I usually shop the front of the store first, making my way to the back. But for some reason, I immedietly went to the back where the furniture was (probably because I'm so ready to find a tall dresser for the boys room, and get rid of our extra wide one that only takes up way too much space). These chairs were meant for us. We've been wanting new chairs for the past year (ever since Peter made me this AMAZING table):

March 2012

We've looked at chairs a few times but never found the right ones...and I wasn't interested in paying an exuberant amount of money per chair. So we waited. And waited, and waited. As soon as I saw these chairs at goodwill I knew they were going home with us. Even before I looked at the price tag. I was hoping they weren't too expensive. And they weren't. $9.99 per chair (10% off for loading them up ourselves). That's right, $9 per chair, $36 for the set. They go SO well in our dining room. The dark wood complements the woodwork in the room as well as the table. And get this, they're comfortable. Not even kidding. They also boast an extra wide seat. Holla! So now two of my favorite goodwill finds are together in one room. Now I just have to figure out the artwork for the dining room, finish sewing the runner for the table and maybe make matching placemats....and the dining room will be finished!  Riiiight.

 

...

Yesterday we sold a table that we had upstairs on Craigslist. Peter bought the table 8 years ago when he first got our apartment (we were still dating I think). It was a wonderful table, with a beautiful dark finish. I loved it, but it was too big for our small house. So I posted it on Craigslist on Monday. By Monday night, I received an email, and set up a time for the following night for couple to come and pick it up. They arrived last night, gave Peter the money and packed it up into their truck. After they left Peter gave me the money and I realized they had overpaid us. I quickly called them before they got too far away and told them of their error. She thanked me for my honesty and said they would turn around and come back. 15 seconds later, my phone rang and the husband was on the phone. He said that he was a pastor and knew what it was like to be a young couple with little kids. He said that we could keep the money. I hung up in shock. I felt so very blessed by their kindness and generosity.

I'm grateful today for my chairs (which I'm certain the Lord kept for us) and for the kindness of strangers. And for the mocha I'm sipping on.

Via World Market

Cranberry Coffee Pound Cake

Friday morning came around as usual with the sound of the kids playing in their bedroom...and then the alarm going off. I don't even know why we still set our second alarm. :p  Soon after my husband's alarm went off, he received a text saying that he had the day off of work. Say wha? Such a fun surprise. He turned off the alarm and we snuggled back under the blankets and slept until noon. Riiiiight. Did I mention I have two sons...one of whom likes to wake up super early? Yeah. Instead of sleeping until noon, I being the good wife that I am, crept out of bed and wrangled my boys up, allowing my husband to get some more shuteye. I was excited about what the day held and wanted to make it extra special by making something yummy for breakfast. Cranberry coffee cake came to mind and so I googled a recipe. I found a recipe that looked promising and with a few tweaks here and there, I found my newest addiction. Be prepared to be blown away by this AMAZING "coffee cake". I had to give some of it away because I was afraid I was going to eat the whole thing. Oh, the temptation of it all!

 

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Cranberry Coffee Pound Cake

Yield: About 16 Servings
Prep: 10 Minutes, Baking Time: 55-70 Minutes, + 5 Minutes Cooling Time 

It's a coffee cake...it's a pound cake. It's delicious and the most amazing breakfast treat. This also makes for a good midnight snack. Word of advice: Share, or risk eating it all when no one is looking.

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 Ingredients

• 8 ounces cream cheese, softened
• 1 cup butter, softened
• 1-3/4 cups sugar
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 4 eggs
• 2-1/4 cups all-purpose flour, divided
• 1-1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 12oz bag of fresh or frozen cranberries*, patted dry
• Frosting OR Powdered Sugar.

(*can also substitute frozen or fresh blueberries or frozen or fresh cut rhubarb, sprinkled lightly with sugar) 

Directions  

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour a 10-in. fluted tube pan. 
• In a mixing bowl, beat cream cheese, butter, sugar and vanilla until smooth. Add eggs, one at a time, mixing well after each addition.
• Combine 2 cups flour, baking powder and salt; gradually add to butter mixture. Mix remaining flour (1/4 cup) with cranberries; fold the floured cranberries into batter (discard the leftover flour). Batter will be very thick. Spoon into prepared pan.
• Bake at 350° for 55-70 minutes or until cake tests done (check at 55 minutes, and if it still looks raw in the cracks, continue to cook until done). Let stand 5 minutes before removing from the pan. Cool on a wire rack. Before serving, drizzle with frosting or dust with powdered sugar.

• Recipe Slightly Adapted From Taste of Home

Cream Cheese Frosting:

1 1/2 oz. Softened Cream Cheese
3 T. soft butter
1/2 t. Vanilla
1/2 t. Milk
1 1/2 Cups Powdered Sugar

Beat cream cheese and butter together until light and fluffy. Add the vanilla and milk until combined. Slowly add the Powdered Sugar until well combined.

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I recently cut the recipe in half, using frozen rhubarb (lightly sugared and then combined with the flour). Instead of using a fluted pan, I put the batter in a loaf pan. I baked it at 350⁰ for 45-50 minutes. It turned out great!