the {pre} teribble twos.

There are days when I feel like a handicapped person. These last 20 months have been seriously life changing. Each month brings something new and I've found that I've had to exchange the activities and day-to-day things that I once enjoyed doing, with toddler-friendly activities. I feel stuck in toddler world and I can't tell you how excited I get when I get to interact with adults face-to-face. I sometimes yearn for the baby days to be back where getting out wasn't so stressful. Sometimes I look in the mirror and wonder who that person is looking back at me. I feel SO different. Marriage changed me too, but being a mommy has changed me in a different way.

There are days (like today for instance), where I feel lonely, where I feel like getting together with a girlfriend, heading over to get coffee while chatting and sipping hot liquid for hours without having to worry about nap time or a toddler running around reeking havoc on innocent beings. Shopping is something that I miss too. Shopping now a days consists of running in and grabbing the necessary items and dashing back out the door taking the least possible time. I miss fun shopping, browsing through unique shops and trying on cute clothes. I also miss shopping without having to chase or quite down a loud and fast little boy who would much rather be in the child play area then browsing through boring clothes and shoes. ;)

There are days where I just need adult interaction without any children present. Today, I just want to do fun things, having a toddler makes all of those things 10x harder.

Both Peter and Simon have been dealing with allergies these past few weeks. :( Simon's energy level hasn't really changed, he's still as active as ever, even with a runny nose and stuffed up face. He has been a lot more cranky though (which is understandable - I'm not the most pleasant person when I'm feeling sick either), but it's been difficult for me to show patience with his constant whining. He's at the age right now where we hold our breath and cross our fingers when we take him out places. You just never know when he's going to explode...It usually happens when you strap him in his stroller or a cart - he hates to be confined (his carseat getting the same reaction) and would rather walk around with the big people - which is fine, except for the fact that you never can tell when he'll let go of your hand and bolt...or when he'll throw himself to the ground because we're moving on instead of going where he wants to go.

Eating out with him doesn't happen very often any more. Just as he dislikes his carseat, stroller and cart, he abhors a highchair as well. He'd much rather be running around then sitting still eating. He's pretty good with snacks throughout the day, something that he can eat while "on the go" - but sitting down to dinner is a totally different story. Patience is definitely something the Lord has been installing into my impatient being...especially when it comes to being a mommy to a energetic 21 month old.

{sigh}

Sorry about my whining. I know, you all are probably reading the title of this post and thinking terrible twos? How about terrible twenty.sixers?! Ugh. I'm thinking the same exact thing right now. I do love my little boy SO much and wish that I was better at this whole mommy thing. I wish I knew how to live both of my lives...the mommy life and the free-spirited, fun-loving young women life. I'm usually pretty good at combining a little bit of both, but obviously, not today.