high and low

Have you ever had a week where you enjoyed so many wonderful things...and yet so many things went wrong? We just had a weekend like that, and let me tell you...I'm exhausted! Wearily exhausted. My brain hurts from being so confused. Here is a brief synopses of our 3-day weekend.

Friday
High: We've been trying to plan a trip to Duluth this month. We knew we couldn't squeeze it into our already busy weekend, so after consulting the 10-day forecast, my husband took Friday off. Such a beautiful high. I love Autumn in Duluth. I knew Simon would have a lot of fun there and I was hoping Miles would too - his first Duluth trip!

Happy to be out of the car.

We enjoyed many things and visited some of our favorite places.

Thompson Hill:

Enger Tower and Gardens:

To date, this is my favorite picture of Peter and Miles.

The water was so choppy that the only boat we saw that day was a huge barge heading toward the Lift Bridge.

We made it to the top of the tower! Our eyes are so different.

Of all the places we visited, Enger Tower had the prettiest colors.

This is so unlike Miles. He never sleeps on people!

A Japanese Peace Bell from Duluth's sister city in Ohara, Japan

Kitchi Gammi Park:

His favorite pastime. 

Canal Park Brewery Company (Dinner):
No pictures. They were all on my iPhone. More on that under Sunday. :(

Canal Park:

The weather was gorgeous - but very windy. My hair was a crazy mess by the end of the day, warranting a shower as soon as the boys were in bed.

Low: Finding out that after said shower, water has been leaking under our tub for the past couple of days, dripping down into our kitchen. Seeing the outline of our tub on our kitchen ceiling is not a happy sight. Instead of enjoying a lazy Friday night with my man after a long day and 6 hours in the car, our evening was spent worrying about the tub and praying for wisdom for my husband...and trying to encourage him as best as I could. I felt so helpless.

Saturday
High: Celebrating my Mother-in-Law's 60th birthday. I'm so glad we were able to celebrate her - she's one of my favorite people!  It was fun seeing all of the cousins playing together and visiting with the grownups.

Low: More tub drama. Another evening taken up by trying to fix the leak - my husband is amazing. Also, having a SUPER cranky 18mo. He's been having such a rough couple of months. I've felt up his back gums a few times, trying to determine if this is teething crankiness, or just 18mo crankiness. It's so hard to tell. His constant whine and shyness of people who aren't his immediate family is getting SO.old and frustrating.

Sunday
High: Napping and Small Group. Watching The Great Gatsby.

Low: Working in the nursery after a cranky-baby weekend. All I wanted to do was drop my kids off in nursery/kindergarten and sit with my husband and listen to a missionary talk about God and his goodness and faithfulness. I needed to hear that sermon and be reminded about the goodness of God. But instead, it was my week to work in the nursery, changing diapers and wiping runny noses. I'm grateful for these nurseries and the children - and even though I was fighting for joy on our way to church, my attitude changed once I walked into the room - it's funny how being completely adored by 2 year old's can make you feel so much better - even if you are wiping butts and noses.  A few more lows of the day were the Vikings losing and not being able to sleep as long as I wanted during my Sunday afternoon nap. Also, a very clingy 18mo at our Small Group meeting - so much for enjoying a little break. But, the biggest low was updating my phone and then losing everything - which of course included all of my pictures. Having to go through the steps of setting up a new phone was not how I wanted to end my weekend. Also, staying up until close to 2 am trying to restore it was not cool. Especially when the alarm went off this morning.  Oh Monday.

So to say that my brain is confused on whether it should be happy or sad is an understatement. I'm weary. I'm tying not to hyperventilate about a long week ahead with my kids (is it bad that I'm craving a break from the Motherhood?). I just want a worry-free, kid-free, problem-free hour...or two. But instead, it'll be spent indoors as I re-install my apps back onto my phone, trying to keep up with the household chores and keeping my boys happy and entertained. Highs and lows.

October.

Hello blog world. It's October now...7 days in. This is the month where I'm always undecided in whether I like it or not. I love October for many reasons. One of them being it's my husband's birth month. Another being that it's SO gorgeous here in Saint Paul with the leaves changing, contrasted by a brilliant blue sky and the usual dark green grass. After our dry Summer months, it's a nice change to see healthy grass again. But October is also when it starts to get cold here. The days are shorter and the temps are cooler. Sometimes there's even snow. Gasp. Thankfully we only had rain this past week, non of that icky white stuff that our neighboring states saw. Last week was a pretty depressing week weather-wise. It was much chillier, the sun played hooky and the skies drizzled and poured rain down upon us. Again, I'm grateful that it wasn't snow. But still. It made me realize that Summer is truly over with and Winter is just around the corner. BUT! There is hope for this upcoming week. Looks like we're back to sunshine and 70's. Maybe last week was just a silly little prank?

In honor of Fall, the berries outside our kitchen window started to turn a happy yellow. The birds are happy.

This morning, I met up with a few other women and their kids who live in our neighborhood for a playdate. It was a gorgeous morning - a bit nippy at first, but totally bearable with a couple of layers, a scarf and hat and warm boots. Add a tumbler of hot tea and warm sunshine and I was a happy momma. It was truly wonderful meeting up with other moms who not only have kids my kid's age, but they also live in the neighborhood! Since moving here 2.5 years ago, it's been slow-going getting to know our neighbors. This was a great ice-breaker, for sure! Facebook is such a wonderful tool in connecting people. We only have one car, so going to mom events at church and with friends usually doesn't work out for us during the week. I miss the fellowship. So this was perfect for me. Just an easy walk to a park where the boys can get their energy out and I can have some adult conversation and make new friends. I'm only bummed that I found the group so late in the season. Hopefully God will smile down on our fair city and allow us a mild fall/early winter.  A girl and dream and pray.

Miles finally wore a hat this morning. He NEVER wears hats. I found him so stinkin' cute with his daddy's hat on his little head, that I just had to snap a few pictures. 

 

One of the great things about summer being over is that our Sunday School classes start up again at church. Simon is LOVING being back in class. A kindergarten class at that! Once again, I'm overwhelmed with gratitude towards our church - they take such great care of our children, teaching them and loving on them. I'm loving being able to take notes again during the main service, sitting closer to the front and having all of my attention on the sermon. Such a gift.

Peter's 30th birthday was last Thursday.

I wanted it to be super special and something that he would never forget. But sometimes my most well-intentioned wishes don't always meet up with reality. Even though it wasn't what I wished for, it still ended up being special because we were all together. That was what counts, right? The boys were on their best behavior and I made birthday treats for my husband making him feel loved and special. His cake was delicious (came in at a close second to this one) - word of advice though: if your cake calls for homemade caramel inbetween the layers of your cake, do not refrigerate your cake or your caramel will harden and be near impossible to cut through - yeah. At least it was tasty and easier to cut after thawing. ;)

100 Grand Cake. The inside layer was so pretty.

I made a 6" cake due to the fact that we just didn't need to eat a huge 9" layered cake. This was plenty for our little family.

I also scored big points on the present department, which is a huge win for me (and him - lol) as I'm a horrible gift-giver...and he's a hard person to buy for. It's the little things. Simon was completely adorable and made the sweetest card for his dad. He was pretty excited about it.

Two things I am looking forward to this month are going to an apple orchard (or two) and visiting Duluth. Two things we try to do late September/October. We have yet to do either thanks to the rain and a busy schedule. But we WILL. We must!!

A Productive Lazy.

I've become quite lazy pertaining to certain areas of my life (more on that later). Overall, I'm a rather lazy person. It's true! Don't get me wrong, I quite enjoy having excuses and activities that turn the lazy into productive. But usually the lazy in me is more dominant. My lazy does involve reading (to myself and to my little men), watching netflix with my man after the kids are in bed (usually while knitting or perusing Instagram or Facebook <--- read: keeping up with friends and family)... ya know, a productive lazy. Not the sleeping-all-day-watching-TV-with-glazed-over-eyes-and-powdered-sugar-all-over-my-mouth-all-night kind of lazy. But to be completely honest, I would rather read than exercise. I would rather wear sweats than find a cute outfit if I'm just staying home. And I would rather munch on a cookie than a clean piece of lettuce. And that's just the tip of the lazy iceberg. There are way more areas in my life that need a kick-start.

Such as...

The Creative Department.
I can tell Summer is almost over and Fall is right around the corner, due to my knitting needles coming out of hibernation over the Spring/Summer months. I have one custom order in the makings for a friend's husband (shh, it's an anniversary gift) and I just received word that my SIL procured a table at our Church's annual Craft Boutique. She's graciously sharing with me and so I have a small spot to sell my goods this coming November!! I'm excited...and nervous! Every year that I've gone, I've thought about getting a table and selling some of my crafty things...and I finally get to this year!! It'll be great and humbling to set out my things and see what sells (the great part)...and what doesn't (the humbling part).  So now, I need to start coming up with a list of things to make and sell. What I'll probably end up doing is emptying out my Etsy shoppe and go from there. 

The Business Department.
My Etsy shoppe. I really want to be better about keeping this shoppe current. I need to rethink the things I sell, promote more (I hate that part)...and retake pictures. Oh my GOSH, some of the pictures I have up in my shoppe are SO dated and awful. 2009 called and they want their pictures back. Yeah, it's that bad...and that dated. I think this craft boutique will be good for me. I also, need to be better about consigning my old clothes and posting more on Poshmark. Also de-cluttering this house and selling on Craigslist. Not really business oriented...but it helps to bring in extra money. So it kind of is.

Spiritual Relationship Department
Devotions. I'm behind. I haven't had a date-night with Jesus in a long time. I like to think of my time with the Lord as a date night. Not many people think of their alone times with their husbands as date nights. But I kinda do. I personally look forward to spending time with my husband each evening after the boys are in bed. It's special and I'm enjoying this stage where the boys still go to bed at a relativity early hour. It's just him and me. Even better, having the opportunity to actually get out, just the two of us, makes me super happy. There's just something special about looking forward to time alone with the man that you love most of all. I think the same should be for our time with the Lord. I'm still working on this mindset. The mindset of looking forward to opening up the Word with happy anticipation. And making the quite time happen. The time where I can hear His voice speaking gently to me. Just as my husband appreciates undivided attention, so does my First Love. No distractions, no excuses, just Him and me. You would think that after 25 years, I would have this down. But I don't. I still don't have an exact time as to when we get together. Morning, afternoon, evening...right before bed? Thankfully, He's patient with me. And He's okay with me being spontaneous.

School Department
I was hoping by this week we would be on a schedule and have things going smoothly when it comes to Simon's schooling. But no. We've hardly done a thing. He's working on memorizing how to spell and write out his last name (poor child - 10 letters is a lot to memorize!!) and my phone number. He's also working on his reading. He's getting the sounding-out-of-letters down and gets so excited when he can figure out words by himself. Last week we studied the Solar System. He loved that. And I did too.  But that's about it. I need to come up with activities and a solid schedule. This will help us both. I also need to research schools and what he needs to know to enter Kindergarten. Even though he's 5 (he just turned 5 last month), we're holding him back a year. So he'll be starting next Fall. Plenty of time, right? Ha!

Blogging Department
Enough Said.

Pictures Department
Posting pictures to both the blog and to Facebook. I've gotten so spoiled with taking pictures on my iphone and uploading them to Instagram - literally a less-than-60 second process. It's now SUCH a chore to actually turn my netbook on, put my SD card into my card reader, transfer to a folder and program so I can touch them up, AND then finally upload them to Facebook/blog (which is a process in and of itself). Lazy much? Granted, I'm uploading more than one picture at a time, but still. What takes such little time on my phone, takes 5x the amount of time from my amazing camera. And you know what? It's totally worth it in the end. Most of the time anyway. The pictures tend to look SO much nicer and there's no question when it comes to the quality. And they're a heck of a lot cheaper to print out (no matter how adorable the instagram prints are).  Plus, I tend to take way more with my Sony than with my iphone. So yes, I need to be better about uploading and sharing on Facebook...for my family's sake if nothing else.

Here are some examples of Instagram vs. my Sony NEX 5 camera. With the right filters, you can almost pass the iphone pictures off as the real thing. ;)

^Instagram

^Sony

   

^Instagram

^Sony

^Instagram

^Sony

**Blog post finished. Time to get off my lazy butt**

Wishing the years away, while holding tightly to the now.

I don't do this often, but there are days, that have me wishing for the baby stage to be done and over with! I know, I know. Years down the road, I will regret these feelings. I will yearn to hold my babies one more time.  I can already envision myself gazing at pictures of my little babies with tears streaming down my face and a wobbly smile on my face, wishing for a sloppy wet baby kiss, or a gaze full of love and innocence naughtiness. Or for one more glimpse of a toddling baby coming at me full force to give me a hug. I know this, and yet, I still can't help but be excited over the many adventures we will have together, as a family of four, once my baby isn't a baby anymore.

I can already see it. Us vacationing up north, going for hikes, maybe even setting up a tent and camping out, if the weather is decent. Road-tripping out West. Going for long bike rides. Eating out at restaurants. Going to see cute PG or G-rated movies. All the things we can't really do now, because we have a ticking-time-bomb baby. Simon was just reaching that stage where we could do more with him, right before Miles was born. 3.5 years is a fun age. We took him out to eat, we even went to the discount theater with him a few times - I never thought kiddie movies could be so much fun! We went on longer walks and let him play at the park without having to hover. We just did more.

And then came Miles. Rambunctious, lovable, full-of-energy, Miles. He turned our world upside down and made us put on the breaks. I wasn't prepared for it, even though we had done it once before with big brother, Simon. Miles yells when he doesn't get his way, whines for attention, walks...nay, runs away whenever he gets the chance and has such a short attention span. Taking him out is usually a quick activity, with us turning blue from holding our breath, hoping he doesn't throw a baby-tantrum, or whine too loudly. I'm sure it's just a stage. But it's been a long stage and I'm so ready for a time where we can go out on family adventures that last longer than 20 minutes.

A couple of weeks ago, we took the boys over to Como Lakeside Pavilion. They have local orchestral bands that play there during the summer months. I had just been there with a friend a few nights before, and so I knew that it was not only fun and different, but family friendly. We decided to give it a try as the weather was unseasonably cool and comfortable and the prospect of being outside with my little family sounded nice. We arrived just before they started. We sat down near the back, off to the side (family safeville) and settled in for a fun night. Peter had retrieved Miles from the stroller and was holding him as the music started playing, "Pop Goes the Weasel". I glanced over and there he was, all snuggled up to his daddy, almost glaring. He looked so comfortable, but his face was another story. He was clearly nervous. He sat there for 10 whole minutes with hardly any expression on his face. I took quite a few pictures of him, because he was cracking me up. Where was the feisty little guy that could only sit still for 5 seconds?

                                                         

I finally couldn't deal with the cuteness any longer and reached out for him. He came willingly and snuggled in for another 5 minutes. My mamma's heart filled with gratitude for the special gift of snuggling with my 16 month old.

The spell was broken when Peter and Simon went off to find Ice Cream. But he stood contentedly, holding on to the chair in front of me, bopping to the music and woofing like a dog anytime he saw a puppy. The boys came back a few minutes later with ice cream, and the rest is a messy, sugary history. We left during the intermission, happy, sticky people. It's nights like these where I'm okay with putting the breaks on and just enjoying the now. The future will come soon enough with fun adventures of their own.

To my firstborn, on your fifth birthday...

Dear Simon,
It's 11:37pm (CST) on a stormy and muggy August 6th Tuesday evening, and you're officially five years old. Half a decade. You're growing up so fast. I have tears brimming in my eyes, threatening to spill down my face just thinking about you as a baby and now as a big boy. Happy tears, mind you. I remember with clarity (with some fogginess thrown in) the day you were born. I was in so much pain and yet I couldn't wait to see you. I couldn't wait to hold you for the first time. I hadn't held a baby in so long and I found myself wondering if I would be good at it. If I would be a good mother. Would you like me? Would I be able to comfort you when you cried. Would you love me? After hours of hard labor and pushing, you were placed in my arms for the first time. You barely made a sound. Your eyes were open though and you were staring at me. Your Grandma swears that you smiled at me just minutes after you were born. I remember so clearly your big murky eyes staring at me, with a look of love and contentment in them. You were such an easy baby and I remember getting excited when you would cry after we brought you home, because 1) you rarely cried and 2) you had such a cute baby cry. This excitement did not last long. ;)

You've been my favorite blonde-haired, blue/green-eyed little buddy. You don't play favorites when it comes to your dad and me. You love us the same and enjoy doing various activities with both of us. Really, anyone who's up for playing with you is your best friend, no matter their age, size, color or gender. I love that about you. You are a lover of people and only see the good in them. Your heart is HUGE and you enjoy making people laugh and happy. If people are sad or acting up, you notice and you become discouraged and confused.

You've grown so much since your little brother came into the world. You've learned to share, care and love in ways that only a sibling could teach. You adore your baby brother, and he adores you too. I enjoy watching the two of you interact together and my momma's heart oftentimes overflows with gratitude for the bond that you two share. Nobody can make you laugh like Miles and nobody can make Miles laugh like you. I think that's special.

I've never met a kid like you before. You're active, rambunctious, caring, obedient, considerate, gentle and a bundle of adorable weirdness. You make me laugh like no other. Your jokes are way lame, but the laughter that ensues after you tell them makes up for the lameness.

So much has changed since you came into this world. When you were first born, you were our everything. You were the first grandchild on both sides, you were the first baby in my life since my little sister was born, back in 2000. You brightened up so many people's lives by your presence. Since then, you've been joined by 3 girl-cousins, a baby brother, and two more (boy!) cousins on the way! You are no longer the only grandchild/child. And yet, you will forever hold a special place in my heart as my firstborn. You have a lot of responsibility being the oldest in the family of cousins and in your own family. And yet, you show love to the younger ones and enjoy playing with them whenever you get the chance. You have been a wonderful example of gentleness, kindness and love (with a touch of bossiness thrown in). Oh, and a little bit of that adorable-weirdness too. ;)

I'm honored that you want to marry me. Thrilled that you want to be big like daddy, happy that you enjoy being around both sides of our family. In awe of how you watch out for your little brother. Slightly embarrassed that you can beat both daddy and me at Wii bowling. I love a good challenge. I admire the fact that you can can navigate around town already (you like to tell daddy where to turn if we're going somewhere exciting - like the library), as well as navigating the TV, DVD player, Wii, tablet, iPhones and pretty much any electronic device that's put in front of you or in your lap.

You potty-trained so well (except for the pooping part - that was a hard thing to master - pun intended). Potty-training was one of the things I was dreading as a mother. But, after a rough first few days, you surprised me by taking off with it. I can count on one hand the accidents you've had since that Fall of 2011. And you've NEVER peed in your bed (I will forever sing your praises about that - I seriously was not looking forward to the middle-of-the-night changing of bedding, or you waking up stinky. THANK YOU SIMON!).

You're learning to read and it's fascinating seeing how you can sound out letters and create a word that only a few seconds ago you didn't know. Your mind is a great big sponge and I look forward to the days ahead where you can read stories to your little brother. I hope you like books as much as I did growing up.

Our dinner conversations are a highlight of the day for me. You are always coming up with funny things to say and funny stories to tell your dad at the dinner table.  No matter the time of day you're always coming up with something funny to say.  I've started keeping track of them on my phone and It's always a fun time re-reading them.

Me: Simon, don't lick your hands - wash them in the sink. 
Simon: But, but, but!
Me: Simon, no buts.
Simon: I'm not talking about my back butt!

Me: What are you going to be when you grow up?
Simon: A daddy.

Simon: Hey mom, I think I want 15 children.
Me: 15?! When you're married?
Simon: Yes.
Me: What's your wife going to say about that?
Simon: Um, that's weird.
Me. Who's your wife going to be?
Simon: Um....you.

Peter: I love my wife.
Simon: I love my wife too.
Me: What's your wife's name?
Simon: Mom

Me: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Simon: Um, let me think. Um...I want to be like daddy. I can go poop every single day.

Me: How are your beans?
Simon: Not perfect. I don't like beans.

Simon: Simon going to get bigger, bigger, bigger! Poop on the potty and sleep in mommy and daddy's bed.

Simon: Mmm, bacon really good!
Me: Do you like your carrots too?
Simon: I like bacon, Mario Kart and candy.

Simon: Is heaven up in the sky?
Me: Um, well...hmm...sure.
Simon: Oh. I don't like flying. Is Jesus going to be careful when He comes to get us? (yep, he's afraid of heights).

You are such a boy. You make a disgusted face when you see two people kissing, or when somebody mentions princesses. You are all about Superheros, and Batman and Star Wars. You love ACTION - fight scenes in movies are your favorite - before we know it, you're off of the couch fighting alongside the TV beating up all the bad guys (the 1966 Batman movie is one of your faves!).  While you do like action scenes, you're a little squeamish when it comes to blood and suffering. You don't watch shows that involve blood or intense violence, but you do read about it in watered-down stories in your little bible, and it makes you sad. This past Easter was a hard time for you and yet I saw so much growth. You have such a tender heart. On Sunday you had a hard time with communion as the pastor was talking about Jesus' body breaking. You didn't like that at all. It's hard trying to explain the Lord's suffering to you, and yet it's such a joy when you ask deep and personable questions about Jesus, and what it means to become a follower of Him. You're excited about heaven and I'm excited that you get to live there for eternity.

I could write so much more and post a thousand more pictures, but for now, I'll sign off. I love you so much, my little Simonbaby. My Si-Si. My firstborn boy, My Si.  Happy Birthday, Simon James.