Weakness

7:18AM It's quiet as I type. My son is still sleeping, my husband just left for the day and the coffee maker just finished making my liquid gold. The only sounds that I hear are the keys clicking as I type, the birds outside and an occasional car as it drives past our house. The morning is cool with promises of the day heating up. The Minnesota State Fair started yesterday. We're for sure going on the 3rd (why does that seem so far away?!). I'm looking forward to it. Tonight Peter and I get to escape for a little bit and go on a date. It'll probably be a date of errands, but it'll still be a date. It will be a welcome break as I feel like my life has been overrun by kids. Yesterday was no exception. 7:45am-8pm, was kid time...most of the day Josh and Kiley, and the evening Jude. Being pregnant and not having a whole lot of energy to begin with, and watching someone else's kids (huge responsibly!) is somewhat overwhelming and taxing. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to do it and Simon loves having friends over - It's just tough sometimes. I kind of had a breakdown last night about having another child. Am I really ready for this? Can I seriously be a mother to not one, but two children? Will I do more harm than good? As I was brushing Simon's teeth I realized how much I adore being his mommy. He's such a great kid. He makes me laugh all the time and is a sweetie through and through. When I think of the stress that adding another little one will bring, I just gaze at my cute little-boy-Simon...and if that doesn't work (haha), I recite one of my favorite and well-worn passages: My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness". Today is a new day, full of new grace. I'm so grateful for that. Now I will slowly pick myself off the couch and make my way to the kitchen (I hope my coffee works today).

Baby G. take 2

So much has happened since my last post. The biggest and bestest surprise was finding out that we're going to have another baby in March. We're excited and nervous, but mostly excited. It didn't take Simon long to convince him that there's a baby in mommy's tummy. Unfortunately, he's not getting the concept that only mommy's carry babies in their tummy's...not 3 year old little boys. ;)

I'm 10 weeks today. Yay, double digits! So far I'm feeling great! Tired all the time, but that's too be expected.  When one is pregnant for the first time everything is new and different. The second time around I've been finding myself examining and questioning everything (i.e. did this happen when I was pregnant with Simon?!). I'm more curious to find out the gender of this wee little one more so then I was with Simon, just because I'm constantly wondering if the differences in this pregnancy vs. my previous one are signs that it's a different gender. I go back and forth between thinking it's a boy and a girl. The main theory that it's a boy is that I'm not experiencing any morning sickness (just like I didn't with Simon). But that's about where it ends. I feel like more hormones are surging though me. Thankfully I'm not emotional or cranky. But during the first 8 weeks my face broke out a lot more and my boobs are way more tender (sorry if that was tmi :p).

My food cravings have been out of this world too! Every night it's something different (yay for 10 pm cravings! - not.). And of course most of the cravings are for things I don't have.  A few weeks ago I was obsessed with New York Style Pizza. You know, the kind that has the foldable crust, and the oil laying on top of the massive amount of cheese.  SO amazing. I was cursing the fact that Sven and Ole's Pizza was SO far away! I couldn't stop thinking about their pizza and finally for date night 2 weeks ago we found a little local pizzaria and had a few slices. Heaven (well, semi heaven, it wasn't S&O pizza). :p Taco Bell has also been a mega craving for me. After my husband got food poisoning (for the second time) back in March from Taco Bell, we haven't been. It still makes my husband sick to even think about it. But not me. I have to literally change the channel whenever Taco Bell commercials come on...along with any other food commercial (especially the State Fair commercials - oh yum!!). The desire for food is so great. With my previous pregnancy even though I didn't get sick, I was still a little sensitive to food...especially the smell.  Not so with this one. I could pretty much eat anything I wanted without a problem. These are just a few of the things that I've been craving as of late:

Boston cream pie
Donuts
Danishes
Taco Bell
Pizza
Pasta
Lasagna
Pasta Sauce
Fish sticks (I don't think I've ever had fish sticks in my life and yet, they're a huge craving for me - wth?)
Mott Sticks
Cereal
Fruit (grapes especially)
Coffee cake

Cheesecake

Fried chicken

Steak!

Milkshakes

There are a couple exceptions that I just don't crave anymore. Here's the biggest one (and most shocking!):

Coffee. Yeah, weird right?! I used to have a couple cups a day but up until just this morning the thought of making a pot of coffee just sounded yucky. I would totally drink it at somebody else's house or if I splurged and bought one at a coffee place. I was even okay with coffee if my husband made me a special Vietnamese iced coffee or latte.  But the thought of me making it (with our nasty cheap coffee - which I used to be okay with - just didn't sound appetizing). I finally broke down yesterday and bought a fancy bag of coffee (Blueberry Crunch) with my babysitting money. So far that's helped a lot. Sorry Hill Bros. you're just not good enough anymore.

I think I might be showing just a teeny bit. Am I strange to be excited about that? I'm actually looking forward to having a little belly (I have to find a way to curb my ever-growing appetite or else it's going to be a BIG belly). I hate this pudgy stage and the stage where you're excited about your pregnancy but nobody knows about it unless you tell them, because you don't look pregnant. It's just awkward trying to fit a "oh btw, I'm pregnant" into a casual conversation. I'm also excited about feeling my little one's kicks.  Speaking of which, is 8 weeks too early to feel ones baby?  Probably. The other night I was sitting on the couch all quiet like wearing my tight jeans (i.e. the waist band was tight against my stomach) and all of a sudden I felt a faint tap. To me it felt different then the usual gas bubbles popping. So now I'm curious. I know a lot of women have claimed to feel their baby move that early, but it just seems odd that one could feel something that is only an inch long. I've felt similar movements a few times since.

I scheduled my first prenatal appointment for the 23rd of August (just before my 12th week). I'm excited. It'll be fun to hear my baby's heartbeat and to watch Simon's eyes grow big as he hears his little sibling for the first time. Did I mention that Simon thinks it's a girl? We ask him every now and then if he thinks it's a boy or girl, and every.single.time he confidently says "gurl". The other night Peter asked him if he thought it was going to be a brother or a sister and without hesitation he said "ister". I did't even know if he knew what those words meant. Sometimes little ones have a second sense about these things. I'm even more curious to find out just to see if he's right. ;)

When it comes to what gender I want, I seriously could go either way (a typical "good" mommy answer, I know). I think it would be fun to have 2 boys. Easier even. I know what to expect and honestly, I think boys are easier to raise in general (coming from a girl's perspective). ;) We already have a ton of boy stuff, and it would be easier for two boys to share a room then to later have to figure out where to put a girl when she's older (our house is a little tight when it comes to bedrooms).  But I won't lie, having a little girl would be fun. Having a son and a daughter just seems quaint. Also dressing my little girl up in little dresses and headbands sounds like something that I would enjoy. Plus, she'll have 2 girl cousins that she can grow old with (one of which will only be 7 months older than her)...and at least two little girlfriends who will be 5 months older. :)  We'll see. It's fun being okay with either option and I know whichever gender the Lord blesses us with is going to be perfect because God knows what's best for us and I wouldn't want it any other way.

I think I'll end it with that. :)