A year ago today...

One year ago today at this exact time, I was in incredible pain. I was just 12 hours from seeing my little precious baby for the first time and the thought that I’d be holding him before the night was out was the only thing that kept me going as I pushed through contractions and intense back pain (that and God's never-ending grace!). I don’t remember too much of that day, it was mostly just non-stop pain and writing down the time between contractions on sticky notes. I do remember feeling like the pain was never going to end and that I wasn’t getting anywhere with the contractions. That’s when my water broke and I knew at that moment that I was indeed progressing and that I would be holding my baby in my arms that evening. Upon arriving at the hospital I was already at 8cm. I pushed for about 2 hours in the tub and at 11:37pm, Wednesday night, I held my baby for the first time. He was born perfect, no smashed up face, no sticky white stuff all over, he had a good amount of dark hair, which surprised me and his eyes were wide open and looking at me. He was a small baby - average really, weighing in at 7 lbs, 4 oz. and was just over 19” long. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. It’s such a surreal moment when you hold your baby for the first time. One minute you’re in so much pain you don’t think you can go on and then PUSH he’s out and you’re no longer feeling that intense pain, but feeling unimaginable joy and wonder as you look into those murky blue eyes. This was the very first picture taken of my precious little one just minutes after he was born. It’s a triumphant picture that says “we did it!!”.

It has been such an amazing experience being a full-time mommy. I love seeing my son do new things…whether it be the first real smile, rolling over for the first time, standing up all by himself, saying his first word, crawling, and now the newest of all, walking! I can’t imagine my life without my little boy. He really has changed my life and although we’ve had quite the year of getting used to each other, I think he’s a keeper. lol. As I look back at pictures of my once newborn, I come away amazed at how much he has truly grown. He really doesn’t look like a baby anymore, the toddler in him has come forth and he is more independent than ever. I'm looking forward to this next year. I love you baby and I thank God for each and every day that I have had with you.