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Life.

I've been pretty mopey lately. Life is not exciting right now and it seems as if I have nothing to look forward to. I actually have quite a few things that I'm *not* looking forward to and that has seemed to put a damper on my life at the present. I yearn to travel, to see friends and family - it's been months since I've seen my family and even longer since I've seen my long-distance friends. I want to feel like "Jes" again - you know that feeling when you're with people who know you inside and out and you can just let your hair down and be yourself, having fun as a wacky and somewhat wild person and laughing so hard that tears run down your face? Not too many people know that side of me here in MN (except for Peter of course, thank God I can be myself around him). I feel as though I'm being conformed into this dry and weary person. I'm a lot quieter then I used to be...maybe that's a good thing ;). Motherhood has had a lot to do with this change. I've found myself rebelling against this change though, but the change is stronger then me and I'm finding myself weakening against it. Must.Stay.Strong.

I miss shopping for myself. I know that sounds really selfish and worldy, but it's true. It's not like I can't shop for myself anymore, but now that we have a kid, I feel like most of our "fun" money should go towards him - diapers, wipes, formula...winter clothes, etc. Not to mention how difficult it is to go into a department store with a energetic one year old.

I think I need to start working out again. Not because I need to lose weight ('m actually just a couple pounds away from my goal-weight), but because it tends to put me in better spirits and it gives me energy. Toning up would probably make me feel better about myself too - never hurts. ;)

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