These are a few of my favorite things...

I love color and whimsical things. The very mod store, Patina offers just that. I enjoy visiting that store whenever I can and I always come out of it inspired. There's something about that store that awakens my creativity and makes me all happy inside. Here are just a few of my favorite things (minus the very chic owl apron that sadly wasn't online)!

Life.

I've been pretty mopey lately. Life is not exciting right now and it seems as if I have nothing to look forward to. I actually have quite a few things that I'm *not* looking forward to and that has seemed to put a damper on my life at the present. I yearn to travel, to see friends and family - it's been months since I've seen my family and even longer since I've seen my long-distance friends. I want to feel like "Jes" again - you know that feeling when you're with people who know you inside and out and you can just let your hair down and be yourself, having fun as a wacky and somewhat wild person and laughing so hard that tears run down your face? Not too many people know that side of me here in MN (except for Peter of course, thank God I can be myself around him). I feel as though I'm being conformed into this dry and weary person. I'm a lot quieter then I used to be...maybe that's a good thing ;). Motherhood has had a lot to do with this change. I've found myself rebelling against this change though, but the change is stronger then me and I'm finding myself weakening against it. Must.Stay.Strong.

I miss shopping for myself. I know that sounds really selfish and worldy, but it's true. It's not like I can't shop for myself anymore, but now that we have a kid, I feel like most of our "fun" money should go towards him - diapers, wipes, formula...winter clothes, etc. Not to mention how difficult it is to go into a department store with a energetic one year old.

I think I need to start working out again. Not because I need to lose weight ('m actually just a couple pounds away from my goal-weight), but because it tends to put me in better spirits and it gives me energy. Toning up would probably make me feel better about myself too - never hurts. ;)

A year ago today...

One year ago today at this exact time, I was in incredible pain. I was just 12 hours from seeing my little precious baby for the first time and the thought that I’d be holding him before the night was out was the only thing that kept me going as I pushed through contractions and intense back pain (that and God's never-ending grace!). I don’t remember too much of that day, it was mostly just non-stop pain and writing down the time between contractions on sticky notes. I do remember feeling like the pain was never going to end and that I wasn’t getting anywhere with the contractions. That’s when my water broke and I knew at that moment that I was indeed progressing and that I would be holding my baby in my arms that evening. Upon arriving at the hospital I was already at 8cm. I pushed for about 2 hours in the tub and at 11:37pm, Wednesday night, I held my baby for the first time. He was born perfect, no smashed up face, no sticky white stuff all over, he had a good amount of dark hair, which surprised me and his eyes were wide open and looking at me. He was a small baby - average really, weighing in at 7 lbs, 4 oz. and was just over 19” long. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. It’s such a surreal moment when you hold your baby for the first time. One minute you’re in so much pain you don’t think you can go on and then PUSH he’s out and you’re no longer feeling that intense pain, but feeling unimaginable joy and wonder as you look into those murky blue eyes. This was the very first picture taken of my precious little one just minutes after he was born. It’s a triumphant picture that says “we did it!!”.

It has been such an amazing experience being a full-time mommy. I love seeing my son do new things…whether it be the first real smile, rolling over for the first time, standing up all by himself, saying his first word, crawling, and now the newest of all, walking! I can’t imagine my life without my little boy. He really has changed my life and although we’ve had quite the year of getting used to each other, I think he’s a keeper. lol. As I look back at pictures of my once newborn, I come away amazed at how much he has truly grown. He really doesn’t look like a baby anymore, the toddler in him has come forth and he is more independent than ever. I'm looking forward to this next year. I love you baby and I thank God for each and every day that I have had with you.