Everything Beautiful... And Then Some: April 2009

Thursday, April 30, 2009

It's amazing how one unfamiliar song can describe how you're feeling. Peter and I were driving back home in the rain with our sleeping baby boy from the airport last night. He had Tenth Avenue North playing. I know a couple of their songs, but I've never listened to their complete album. Hold My Heart was playing and the lyrics just shot out at me. I've had a rough week and have felt very overwhelmed with a lot of things. I've found myself crying out the Lord so much this past week and many times I feel like He's not there and I'm all alone. This song seemed to be saying what I've been feeling for the past few days. It's amazing how simple words can describe so much.

How long must I pray, must I pray to You?
How long must I wait, must I wait for You?
How long 'til I see Your face, see You shining through?
I'm on my knees, begging You to notice me.
I'm on my knees, Father will you turn to me?

One tear in the driving rain,
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breakin' heart?
One light, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Won't You come close and hold my heart

I've been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes
So much can slip away before I say goodbye.
But if there's no other way, I'm done asking why.
Cuz I'm on my knees, begging You to turn to me
I'm on my knees, Father will you run to me?

So many questions without answers, Your promises remain
I can't sleep but I'll take my chances to hear You call my name
To hear You call my name

Hold my heart, could you hold my heart?
Hold my heart.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sd6U5ci_uB8

Thursday, April 16, 2009

I miss you sniff

There are times such as today, where I start to miss my dear friends from back in the day. Friends that I can be myself around without feeling like I'm totally making a fool of myself (even though I usually am *smirk*).

I sometimes miss the wild and crazy Jes that I used to be. Thankfully, I married my best friend and can be like that whenever I want here in the confines of our private life. I feel as though I'm sometimes suppressing who I really am and that's not only confusing, but very depressing too.

I'm looking forward to being with my family next week (a week from Saturday), I've always been the wild one at home and I love making everyone laugh and/or roll their eyes. My little siblings are the best audience a person could ask for. I like seeing their eyes light up and hearing their giggles as I say something odd or funny.

I guess I've come to the conclusion that it takes serious time in making new friends and feeling comfortable enough to be *real*, 100% of the time. I think it was easier for me when I was actually living with my friends back in the Flint days. We were like family and spent a lot of time together and I saw them every.single.day. Now it seems as if I have to truly work at making and keeping friends. Growing close to friends is harder then I expected, especially when you only see them once in a while and only for a short period of time.

I think the glue that keeps my friends of old together are the memories that we share. Funny, sweet, emotional and raw memories. I'm thankful that I share a lot of those memories with my husband. He truly is my best friend and I love him so much.

Monday, April 13, 2009

It's time for a change...

So I'm seriously thinking about getting a new hairstyle. It's been since the middle of December since I've gone in for a haircut. My hair for some reason has taken it's own sweet time to grow. I'm hoping to grow my hair out (to my shoulders), but until that happens, I might as well have fun with it. So here are some of my options - some styles that I *think* might work for me...

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#1: This one is a definite favorite. It's probably a little shorter then I would like, but I like the playfulness of the short layers and it frames the face. The bangs are really cute too!

#2: This one is simple, but still rockstarish. I probably would skip the purple highlight (for my husband's sake) and keep my own haircolor.

#3: I really like this one...with my own hair color of course. It's a very whimsy-like cut. This would probably look good both straight and curly (as pictured). It's a wee bit longer then what I'm sporting now, but I think I could make it work in a shorter do.

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So, now I just need to decide. I guess I'll make my decision easier by asking my husband's opinion...that always seems to narrow it down - haha. I'm curious though, what do my loyal readers think?

Take your vote!!