I'm ready for 2009

So much happened this year. I was pregnant for the first 8 months of the year, so that seemed to kind of drag out the year, but not really. As I look back it kind of flew by. There were a few days that seemed to go on forever, but in reality it passed by all too quickly. I had such an amazing pregnancy. The Lord was so gracious to me. I experienced hardly any morning sickness and had an amazing amount of energy throughout the entire 9 months. I was able to work until May (only quitting due to relocating and having to pack up our old apartment) and then we moved in June. August 10th (my actual due date) was always upon my mind. Everything seemed to point to that date. I knew my life would drastically change once my little one entered this world. I was right. August 6th came around and by the end of that day I was holding my little boy. He was so tiny and perfect. My mother-in-law swears up and down that he smiled at me just minutes after being born. No matter what, we'll always have a special bond between us. My husband was such a trooper during that painful day. He stood by me through the whole thing. He was so strong in the delivery room. He impressed me and made me fall in love with him all over again. 2008 brought some tough times for me as well. Being away from my family was extremely hard during the first weeks of my son's life. I felt like they were missing out on so much and I was torn with a certain type of jealousy over my Husband's family. It just wasn't fair that they got to see my little boy grow up and my family were only able to see pictures and videos. Totally not the same. It hasn't gotten any easier, but I've learned to deal with it different way. It helped being able to visit them in September when my little baby boy was 6 weeks old. I was able to spend almost 2 weeks with them. That was special. The happiness didn't last too long though. My husband left on a business trip half way through the visit. I missed him terribly and felt like a piece of me had gone with him...not in a good way. He had fun in DC...maybe a little too much fun (but I won't go into that). I look forward to 2009. It will be a year of fresh beginnings, a year of discovery and a year of newness with our baby boy. It's hard to believe that we'll experience so many new things with our son. He'll learn how to crawl, how to walk, and how to talk, etc. It'll be so much fun to watch him grow up before our eyes. I praise the Lord for his mercy, for His mercies are new every day. I hold on to the promise of future Grace and ask him for the strength and the endurance to face whatever comes my way in the next year.

If I was a rich girl...

I wish I were rich. Life would be so much easier if I was. I've always wanted to be rich. There are many reasons for this. Some are selfish reasons, and some are not so selfish. I always told God that if He were to make me rich, then I would share my riches with others. I would bless people with the money God gave me. I know He has his reasons for not giving me millions and millions, and I'm okay with that...I guess. Maybe I wouldn't deal with the money in a right way, maybe He knows best, actually I think He does. I've never, ever wanted in my whole entire life. My family has always been in the middle class bracket, and my mom was amazing at stretching a dollar. I guess I got that from her. I'm not an extravagant spender (as much as I think I would like to be). I've never felt like I could go to a high-scale salon or buy clothes at a ritzy boutique, or buy shoes that were over $50...gasp, $100. I go past stores like that all the time and wonder what it's like to buy right off the rack, to not look at the price tag first and then the size, to go on a spending spree and not feel guilty. It's not like I'd do all those things if I were rich, maybe once in a while, but I wouldn't be a complete snob about it. I'd also like to bless people with buying them fun and expensive gifts, something that they wouldn't necessarily get for themselves because of the expense. I'm not a very good gift-giver, and I think that's because I put too much thought into how much things are. I'm always thinking about the checkbook. Sigh. I would love to be able to give to the church without thinking about it. Giving to missionaries was always a dream of mine. I love the thought and the concept of being an anonymous giver. Giving a couple hundred to someone who really needed it. Of course blessing my husband and son with fun things would be wonderful too...like exotic warm vacations! Sigh, that sounds divine right about now. I know God has his reasons for not giving us millions, and I'm okay with that. I just wonder what it would be like.

Today has been a rough day. I fear I'm getting cabin fever. Simon has been a little clingy today and that really wears me out. I thank God that he's sleeping through the night and I don't take that for granted. He slept 13.5 hours last night, I finally had to wake him up this morning (which is probably why he's cranky...he hates it when I do that). I made brownies today, but they came out thin. Fail. Oh well, perhaps they'll still taste good. The dreaded dinner hour is almost upon me. I'm so tired of being creative and coming up with tasty meals. I feel like I'm just going around in circles making the same things over and over again. It's tough. I wish I were more creative and more adventurous. It's hard because I'm constantly thinking about Peter and what he would like to eat. The more adventurous stuff just doesn't seem to appeal to him. I'm sure I'll get batter at this with time(*groan* it's been 2.5 years already!). Well, the cranky baby is awake, so I shall depart and bring him in to nurse...blah.